Thursday, January 26, 2006

Ten days to go - Day 10

I'm having a difficult time being objective about Marie's condition. Last night, Martin had an hour long seizure before he was rushed to the emergency room. They found that the antineoplaston infusion had diluted the level of his seizure medication which caused his seizure. I see in his eyes the look of discouragement. It's hard for a man who has worked all his life to be stuck in a wheelchair having other people do things for him. Today I asked him about his farm in Ohio and he said "Now it's only 5 acres." I didn't press him for more details but I got the impression that it is now smaller because he can't work it or he had to sell part of it to pay for the treatment. The Amish do not use health insurance instead the community meets any needs.

So in comparison, Marie is doing well. Other than being tired, not being able to use her right hand and getting the tremors toward the end of the infusions, I think she is doing well. I don't want to minimize what she's going through it is tough, but you know whether she acknowledges it or not Marie is pretty tough too. I hope we can fly home a week from this coming Saturday, which is why this post is called Ten days to go.

By the way, I bought the book The Burzynski Breakthough by Thomas Elias. I'm working my way though it and will lend it to whomever wants to read it next. I'm not very far along so I can't really say much about it.

The Millers stopped by for a visit tonight. Joe is Martin's brother and Fannie, Joe's wife, brought us some homemade biscuits. The woman are working in the laundry room a couple of days a week at the hotel here to keep busy and earn a little money.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Mrs. Fernandez. I was giving my mom an update on your condition(she's away right now and has not read the blog yet), and she pointed out something I hadn't thought of before. And that is that a mother is so used to caring for her household, her children and her husband 24/7 that she doesn't take time to think abt her own needs. But now you have to think abt yourself. I can understand how hard that would be.

Something I've thought abt is the purpose of suffering, which maybe you have wondered abt yourself. It's a curious and disturbing thing when God makes us suffer; we start to question His character. But, at the same time, we can look at that suffering as the refining tool, as the thing that draws us closer to Him, as the thing which brings glory to God. I actually even think that those who suffer are to be admired, b/c God only takes us through what He knows we can stand; He takes us through it b/c He knows we are ready and b/c He has chosen us for His own glorification.

I had been struggling with the thought of having to live through trials and tribulations when you I found out how sick you were. It was very hard for me to accept. But now I realize that there is always a purpose for our trials and that God good even then.

I've been studying Psalm 23, and I am amazed at the picture of our Lord being a Shepherd. That job, of being a watcher of sheep, is very involved and tedious. It requires great care and strength and wisdom and devotion and love. How wonderful to think that He truly does lead us by still waters, walks with us through the vallies that have shadows of death, comforts us with His staff which picks us up when we fall, and leads us to His home. Yes, I see now that He is always faithful and always good.

Well, Momma, I prayed for comfort for you today. The CBS prayer chain here is interceding for you and the family.

Much love to you.

PS I've been praying for you, too, Mr. Fernandez (or Poppa).

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you both for raising a son who played very well on his District Soccer Chapionship Team, one that contributed a whole lot to the team and win. I know you both would have loved to be there.

And, may your days get better.

Granpa Don

PS: I didn't go, but should have. I did call and talk to him before the game. I encouraged him to enjoy playing and to have a good time.

6:34 PM  

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